Thursday, August 27, 2015

I like your hat, Clarence. Pick up the pace! *

I work in the same general area as my alma mater, and my commute has me taking the same route I took to get to class. I frequently take the shortcut that drives through the wooded area the campus is set inside of.

Now that school is back in session, my morning drive has me dealing with lots of college freshmen driving like complete assholes. You can even spot the theatre majors, they are still dressing the same, and have that general look about them. Theatre people know each other.

Now that I'm older and have more insurance, I can't help but be a little jealous of their happy little faces. I'd love to go to class, write a theatre brief, go to ballet class, or audition for something.  

There's a big reunion planned for all of the alumni to celebrate fifty years of the program. I want to go. I want to go fairly badly, and the thought of seeing a few old friends makes me very happy.  But I'd be lying if I said I'd rather not see a good number of people who are likely to be there.  

On one hand, it could be a healing experience, to confront the past and exorcise some old demons. On the other hand, it could be a complete nightmare that would totally wreck my well being. One the other-other hand (I have, like, a bunch of hands apparently) I could just not go and leave everything exactly as it is. On the other-other-other hand, I could go and either be charming and delightful or pull a Heather Mooney. 



None of those choices is necessarily an easy one. Okay, being a complete bitch to people is an easy choice. Not going is also an easy choice.  Easy things aren't always the best. 

I skipped my ten-year high school reunion, because fuck those people, but mostly because I didn't have any real friends among my classmates anyhow.  

Earlier this summer, the woman who gave birth to me and abandoned me in the care of the people who adopted me died. I received a message on facebook that she was asking for me to come and see her at the hospice. I was en route to St. Catherine's to see her, but I decided not to.  She made her choices, and she would have to carry those into whatever was waiting for her after death, if anything. I made my choice to not give her the closure or whatever it was that she wanted, and I will gladly carry that choice.

In spite of my talent for burning bridges and salting the earth, I'm not sure it's actually of any benefit. 




*I had no idea what to title this, so I went with a Heather Mooney quote. I was going to call it "Okay Toby, fuck off!" 

Tuesday, August 4, 2015

77 Witchy Community Tag Part Four

60. Do you believe in fantasy creatures (unicorns, gnomes, elves, fairies, etc)?

The "fantasy" element of this question might tip you off to my opinion on this matter. I do think there are spirits/beings of place and spirits tied to certain elemental forces. 

61. Do you believe in ghosts/spirits?

Yes. 

62. Would you ever teach the craft?

If I were involved in a tradition that had something to pass down or teach, and I was the proper person to pass down/teach that information, yes. 

63. What if any legal herb do you use for moods?

I use legal herbs to shift moods in the form of incense/oils all the time. Lavender, orange, sandalwood and musk get a lot of use around here. 

64. What is the most recent spell/ritual you have done? (slight detail please)

The most recent ritual I did was for Lammas. 

65. Do you have a happy place you go to during meditation?

No

66. What is your favorite witchy book?

Mastering Witchcraft by Paul Huson

67. Do you have a ritual to get ready before a ritual or spell? (what is it) 

I take a ritual bath, anoint myself with oils and put on my ritual jewelry.

68. Do you always use your own spells or do you tweak others?

It's a happy mixture

69. Do you prefer spells/ritual inside or outside?

Both!

70. If you are coming from a Christian/catholic background. Did you find the transition hard with family and the whole going to Hell thing? Basically leaving all you been told was right?

My connections to Catholicism are cultural and not religious, so no. I learned at a very young age, before witchcraft was in the picture, that some things are best kept to yourself. Telling people things that they are incapable of understanding or accepting only makes things more difficult for yourself. 

71. What are your totem animals?

I have a personal affinity for owls and crows.

72. What are some things you reuse after spells/ritual work?

I will re-use altar candles, or a purpose incense or oil that was not made for that specific working. Otherwise, it all gets used during that working or is made an offering of afterwards. 

73. Who helped you most when you starting on your path?

Increasingly better books, trial and error, and a whole of gumption. 

74. Do you know any good witchy phone apps (like moon phases)?

I don't 

75. What is your favorite magical study?

The history of the Craft 

76. Outside of the YouTube and Facebook community, do you have a lot of witchy friends in the physical world?

No 

77. Do you feel that the deities we work with are a force from one higher power and that all beliefs and religions are from the same one God/place?

Absolutely not

77 Witchy Community Tag Part Three

41. How do you handle rejection from a fellow witch that refuses to do a reading or spell for you?

I've never had this happen. 

42. Do you think it is necessary to cast a circle when you do spell work or any magical working?

I don't think it is always necessary for everything, bur casting circle is foundational to my practice of witchcraft. 

43. If Steven Spielberg called and wanted to make a movie of your life, who would you want to play as you?

I need a better director, please and thank you.

44. What is some advice that was given to you that you pass along because it made an impact on your path?

I don't have an answer for this. 

45. What is some advice you would give someone who has not found there deity?

It is a fallacy that everyone in Paganism is going to have a matron/patron deity. You might or might not be called to worship a particular pantheon of deities as a whole. You might be a Wiccan with devotional relationships with deities who are outside of Wicca. You might not. 

46. Where do you buy your herbs?

The grocery store. 

47. How did you feel casting your first circle (silly, scared, stumbling, etc)?

I wasn't quite sure what I was supposed to be doing that first time. My early books just said to "cast the circle" without explaining what that meant. 

48. What was your first successful spell?

That would be telling! It was a curse, if you must know. Shhh! 

49. What is your general practice for meditation?

I put on music, light some incense, and clean the house. 

50. Are you a day walker or a night comer?

What the fuck is that supposed to mean?

51. How and when did you know you wanted to be on this path?

The first time I read about secret rituals, ceremonial knives, candles, a Goddess and a God with horns. 

52. What type of pagan are you (Wiccan, eclectic, hedge, etc)?

I identify as a Wiccan, but I generally just call myself a Witch. 

53. What candle color do you use most?

I will generally use whatever I have on hand for whatever purpose I need to use it for. 

54. What area would you like to see your craft grow in?

Group work, daily ritual

55. What is your preference, to buy or make your tools?

I'm a crafty sort of person, so I like making things when I'm able to. If I have to purchase something, I prefer to get it from secondhand/junk/antique shops and then adapt it to my purposes. 

56. What fictional witch book/screen inspired you the most?

Aside from the Queen in Snow White, I'm inspired by Bast from Rosemary Edghill's Bast Novels and the Aunts from Practical Magic

57. With your first spell where you alone or in a coven?

Alone
58. What is your favorite candle, incense scent for magical purposes?

I use a lot of rosemary and cinnamon. 

59. Where is your favorite place to go to reconnect with nature?

If you can't do it where you are, in your own backyard, then you can't do it anywhere. 

77 Witchy Community Tag Part Two

17. What are you feelings on raising kids in the craft?

I'm not a parent, I have no plans to ever be one, and my opinion on this is ultimately irrelevant. 

18. If you were a goddess or god, who would you be?

Being the Devil would be pretty cool 

19. Do you use astrology in your practice? In what ways?

Yes, in the sense that astrology permeates so much of the Western magical tradition. I will use planetary days/hours for a spell if I have the time on my hands to plan a working. I use astrological symbols and correspondences in workings. I use it in tarot, obviously. I have a slight interest in astrological charts but I only have a very slight understanding of astrology as a system unto itself. 

20. What if any ways could you practice dark magic and still respect the beliefs of Wicca?

What beliefs? Which version of Wicca? Are we talking about baneful workings? My understanding and practice of Wicca does not forbid "dark workings" or baneful magic. 

21. Do you have any witches in your family?

Nope!

22. What item can you not witch without?

A Witch should be able to witch with anything, anywhere, anytime. I'd prefer to always have my blade in my hand when I witch. 

23. What is your favorite sabbat or time of year ritual?

I'm rather fond of the Big Four and I love Autumn and Spring. 

24. Have you ever had a YouTube burn out?

I don't YouTube. 

25. What is your fav witchy shop, and do they have an online store?

My favorite shops I have physically visited are Enchanted Forest in Ft. Worth and The Witchery in Galveston. My favorite shops I buy a lot of supplies from are Otherworld Apothecary and The Vodou Store. 

26. When buying witchy items, do they choose you or do you choose them?

I don't like buying working tools without touching them, holding them in my hands, interacting with them physically. I've held plenty of beautiful things that just felt wrong in the hands. I think it's a 50/50 mutual choosing. 

27. How do you organize your herbs/ingredients?

Alphabetically, like everything else. 

28. Do you have interest in other deities that you don’t work with; if so, which ones?

I'm always interested in deities, their historical worship and whatever contemporary devotion they may be receiving. 

29. Do you have a fav time of day to do spell work; if so, why?

It will depend on the purpose of the working, how much energy I have, and if I even have the time to plan. Some things are addressed right at the moment the situation arises. I prefer daytime for cleansing, protection, and other similarly higher minded stuff. I like night time for pretty much everything else. If I'm working something to directly influence another person, I try to time the working for when I know they will be asleep and therefore more receptive. 

30. Are you solitary or do you work with a coven?

Solitary

31. If you could pick a certain witchcraft tradition that fits your practice most what would it be (Druid, Celtic, Wicca etc)?

I have traditions that I am interested in, but on my own I am just a Witch. 

32. What was the most creative spell you have ever done. What did you use?

That would be telling!

33. What do you prefer for divination (tarot, oracle, runes ,etc, and why?

Tarot. I've always been fascinated by the cards and I like the tactile experience of holding them, shuffling, laying out a spread. I want to learn to read the runes - it's on my lift of 5 million other things I want to do. 

34. What are some ways you keep yourself grounded?

My job requires me to be both grounded and shielded, so that certainly helps. 

35. Have you ever had a spell go horribly wrong?

I haven't liked the results of certain spells when I've cast out of my feels or wasn't honest with myself about what I wanted/needed at the time, but I wouldn't say any of them ever went wrong. 

36. What are your opinions on initiation rituals?

I've never been a part of one. 

37. Have you ever had full contact with your deity; if so, what happened?

Full contact? That sounds naughty. 

38. What about you is un witchy?

Probably the way I meltdown whenever there's a bug in the house. 

39. For the dating witch, how do you tell a new love interest that you are a witch?

I give them chocolate mousse with a chalky undertaste and let them figure the rest of the plot out for themselves. 

40. Who is a past witch that has inspired you ,famous or not?

Eddie Buczynski, Eleanor Bone

77 Question Witchy Community Tag Part One

This is making the rounds on Youtube, but since I don't Youtube, we'll use this as a writing prompt. I tag everyone who reads this to go and do it yourself. 


1. Do you use runes as a written language?

I use the Theban script for specific things. I've played around with Ogham and the Norse runes for writing spells and making bindrunes, but I stick with plain English. 

2. Do you feel you have natural gifts such as (premonitions, hearing spirits) and if so do you think this is what led you to this path?

I've always had very strong impressions about people and situations and most of the suffering I've experienced in life has come from ignoring those strong feelings. I've had dreams or "visions" that have come to pass. I've had a few occasions where I've dreamt of dead people I did not know in person who have shared things with me that have turned out to be true. I don't think any of this lead me to my path. 

3. What deity do you work with if any and why?

I am devoted to two deities we will call the Lord and Lady of Wicca, though I'm sure there are those who think very strongly that non-initiates cannot possibly honor or revere Them. I have had devotional practices for deities who have had very strong presences in my life at different times - some of those relationships continued and some didn't. 

4. Have you always worked with this same deity?

Yes.

5. Do you use any personal items in your practice, (blood, semen, tears, urine, etc)?

When and where it is appropriate for the working or the deities who are being honored, yes. 


6. Do you do past life readings or have ever had one done; who where you or how did you die?

No. 


7. What is your favorite magical tool?

Whichever one I'm holding at the moment is always my favorite - I love the way they look, how they feel in my hands, memories of other workings they've been a part of. My absolute favorites are my blade and my Robin Wood tarot deck. 

8. What is a song or type of music that gets you into a witchy mood?

The music from the 90's and early 00's that were the soundtrack to my early exploration of Craft and music from the 1940's, oddly enough. 

9. Where is the most magical place you have ever been?

Every book and video store I've ever been to. 

10. What animal is your familiar if any?

No familiar's here. My dog does not approve of Witchcraft. 

11. If you have a familiar, did you choose them or did they choose you?

n/a

12. What in the craft are you best at (tarot, spells, ritual,) etc?

Organization, attention to detail, making incense and powders, hexing, cleaning up, bringing foods to Circle that are fattening when everyone is on a diet!

13. What in the craft would you say you are weaker at?

Not rolling my eyes at the lame, silly or pretentious. 

14. What is your most favorite part of your craft (spell writing, divination, etc)?

My favorite part of Craft is that it is tactile, smelly and visceral. 

15. What was the first tool you ever purchased?

The tool I purchased would have been a candle. The brass censer I still use was the first working tool I ever purchased. 

16. What was your first homemade tool for your practice?

I made a pentacle from the heavy cardboard backing of a sketchpad. I cut a circle out of it and painted it black with a white pentagram. 

Saturday, August 1, 2015

Sunday, July 26, 2015

Wha?

I sometimes break my own rule about reading certain online hubs of Pagan writing, and then I find horseshit stuff like this:

"I am a Wiccan. I mean, I don't have a Wiccan altar and I don't use any sort of Wiccan ritual format. I don't celebrate Wiccan holidays. I don't worship the Wiccan gods. I am fundamentally in disagreement with Wicca. However, I still call myself a Wiccan because this is MY Wicca."

Alrighty then.

I'm not sure why you would bother, but you do you.