Saturday, May 28, 2016

Because I need more things to do

I've recently started keeping a journal as a coping skill to deal with stress. I'm using cheap composition books, so I don't have that anxiety about messing up a nice book. I just write about whatever. Some of it's deeply personal, some of it's just doodles. I make shopping lists, write about the books I'm reading, the date I went on, and how much I hate my job.

I've found all of this extremely therapeutic, and I find that writing helps me to be brutally honest about what I'm feeling. Whodathunk it?

I don't know how I managed to not keep a diary as a young person. I was obsessed with them, and had lots of them over the years. My first was purchased through the book fair at school. It was purple with a white kitten on the cover, and there was a lock with key. I carried it everywhere and never wrote much of anything in it. I didn't trust my family not to read it, and I've always been skittish about committing very personal things to paper that can be accessed by anyone.

Then witchcraft entered the picture and I have been failing at keeping a BoS, grimoire or magical diary for twenty years. I created a BoS in the 90's in Microsoft Word, complete with stolen pictures from the internet, clipart, and Old English font. It was hideous and I wish I still had it because the cringe factor alone would make it priceless to me now.  I have a book that I started in 2012 that I still work from sometimes and add things to now and then.

I've been thinking about retroactively creating the magical diaries that I didn't keep for twenty years. I'm not sure how valuable it will be, or if I'll be able to refrain from filtering my memories through the lens of my cynicism. I do think it would be nice to have everything I can remember written down so I can refer back to when my memory really starts to go.

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