I believe that Gods and spirits are independent forces with free agency.
Well, I'm not sure if I *believe* it, but it makes the most sense given my relationship with various deities over the years. That free agency bit makes it hard for me to say who they are, what they are, or to try to put them in a neatly wrapped box.
Sometimes that free agency means you have to break up with them. Sometimes it means that they are going to break up with you. Sometimes you are going to remain friends forever, but you are both so busy with other things that you don't have time to eat pizza and get drunk every weekend like you used to.
Athena...Bast...Auset....The Morrigan...Dionysus...each one came into my life and I had such visceral experiences with them that I thought it was going to be a permanent and forever thing. They still have a place, though my devotion has been inactive for many years now. If they showed up tomorrow and wanted something from me, it would get done.
I haven't read every Pagan/Witch/Wiccan/Occult/Magic book or blog in the world, but I have read a lot. I have yet to read anything that addresses how to process the experience of a much loved deity moving on.
Do you maintain worship when no one is home? Do you keep a shrine for someone who isn't going to be visiting for a while or maybe ever again? Do you send out the Woo equivalent of a text that you know will be read but probably not responded to?
I don't have any answers.
I did have a dream about a year ago where a woman who looks very much like a Goddess I've been devoted to for over a decade handed me one of a particular thing she's frequently depicted carrying and told me "You know the way. I have an emergency to tend to."
Considering how 2016 played out, She wasn't kidding.
I think of Her daily. I chant her names on the New Moon and I light candles and incense now and then. I don't think She's left, not really. My prayer and worship are to the Lord and Lady of Wicca, first and primarily. Though I identify as a polytheist, I have struggled with worshiping Gods outside of Wicca in non-Wiccan ways. I'm really not cut out to be a reconstructionist in any kind of meaningful way.
"You think yourself into too many corners" She tells me.
If that ain't me.
Monday, January 2, 2017
I don’t make New Year’s resolutions. Trying to set long-term goals, knowing that I have 365 days to fail at completing them, is a recipe for suckage.
Last year I picked a word for each element, something I felt I needed, and invoked that quality every time I was in circle. Ask the gods for Growth with no qualifier sometime, it’s fabulous, let me tell you! But in all honesty I needed that growth so badly that it’s going on this year’s list as well.
Yes I found this little practice to be so helpful that I’m repeating it again this year. I’m also making a list of specific goals that I intend to work on throughout the next turning of the wheel.
I’m not telling what those are!