Adventures In Witchery

Sybil Leek on Kreskin

2012-01-26T05:11:00.002-06:00

I seem to have moved on from bitching about silly people to finding rare old occult clips on the interwebs and sharing them with people I think might enjoy them.

I really love me some Sybil Leek. I bet she was a hoot to have at parties and enjoy a nice bit of gossip with. According to bios of read of her, she settled in Houston for a time and opened a restaurant here. Finding the former location of that would be a fun field trip now that we're settled in a bit.

Scavenger hunt, anyone?

Phew!

2012-01-12T19:51:00.002-06:00

It's done. Co-Witch Aithne and I are all moved in and official citizens of the great city of Houston.

It wasn't awful. It certainly could have been worse. There was no crying, no fighting, no drinking, and only a normal amount of "Fuck's" being yelled at inanimate objects.

But there is nothing nice about moving. No amount of grounding is going to make that ~~Ugly Motherfucking Piece Of Shit~~ couch any easier to get up a flight of stairs. But thanks to the wonderful and amazing Chase, we got it done. He's my hero for life.

But it's done. And our home looks really damn cute. There's even space enough for us to have an entire closet dedicated to magical supplies.

As a moving in present to myself. I finally purchased the gorgeous brass stag candle holder from The Blue Hand that I've had my eyes on for over a year now. He lived in a small corner upstairs, neatly tucked away from sight unless you were really paying attention. Sources tell me he's sat there for decades.

When Aithne and I entered the shop, he was right there by the cash register, the first thing you see when you walk in.

I am officially the happiest Witch ever!

The Power Of The Witch - British Witchcraft documentary, 1971

2012-01-06T09:50:00.000-06:00

New Years Eve Prezzies Of Doom!

2011-12-31T13:06:00.000-06:00

Movin' On Up

2011-12-27T04:40:00.002-06:00

'Twas the week before Solstice, and all through the city, scampered Aithne and Veles searching for apartments.

And we found one. Several of them actually, as Houston is just full of apartment buildings and the like. We both knew that our first apartment probably wouldn't be our "forever home" and it probably wouldn't be exactly what we wanted. It's more important for us to just move and be there than it is to wait to find the perfect place.

So in the weeks proceeding our little house hunt, I Witched Up and threw an awful lot of magic at the situation. I did readings. I made incense. I carved an Apartment Finder candle. I made a gris-gris bag to carry when we did our hunting. It even has a name.

And because I'm just fucking clever, all of my ingredients for the spell had been purchased in Houston on previous trips.

The deal we'd be getting at the place we applied to was too sweet to just pass up. So we filled out paperwork, crossed our fingers, and waited.

And waited. And waited some more. Sure, it was the Christmas season and people tend to slack at their jobs a bit as they get ready to take off for the holidays. But when B. was never in her office and never returned phone calls, we started to worry and look at other places.

Enter my post-holiday insomnia and my new mortar and pestle.

After giving it a think for about 30 minutes, I made a nice Fast Luck powder which I dressed a candle with and fed to the gris-gris. Then I went to bed.

This afternoon Aithne called to tell me that we'd been approved and our apartment will be ready for us to move in next Tuesday.

I fuckin' love being a Witch.

How Southern Witches Do It

2011-12-22T17:06:00.003-06:00

Sun Came Back

2011-12-22T02:35:00.000-06:00

Solstice

2011-12-21T17:15:00.000-06:00

"Through a Midwinter clearing

A forest greets a snowy evening

Year after year, the Holly King

Passes the torch as it was intended.

Through a Midwinter clearing

A final kiss and a new beginning

Kiss on the Queen wearing His wreathe

Soon with the sun She will be ascending."

- A Winter's Carol, Tori Amos

The Worst Advice Ever

2011-12-21T16:07:00.002-06:00

"Please don't listen to what any (Vodou priest, initiated Witch, decades-long practicing Magician) says...just use your intuition and let Spirit be your guide. You can't make any mistakes that way." - some idiot on the internet

Cthulhumas

2011-12-20T17:33:00.000-06:00

There just aren't enough Solstice Carols for my pal Cthluhu. So, having too much time on my hands and way too much caffeine in my system, I made one for him. Enjoy.

Slay Belle sings, are you listening,

In the lane, blood is glistening

A beautiful fright,

We're screaming tonight.

Walking in a R'lyeh wonderland.

Now awake is Cthulhu,

Here to stay is Cthulhu

He sings an eldritch song,

As we go along,

Walking in a R'lyeh wonderland.

In the meadow we can build a sigil,

Then call up old Keziah Mason

She'll say: Gimme babies!
We'll say: No ma'am,

But you can do the job

When you're in Arkham.

Later on, we'll expire,

As he eats us by the fire

You should be afraid,

of the plans that he's made,

Walking in a R'lyeh wonderland.

When he chews, ain't it thrilling,

Though your soul gets a killing

He'll frolic and play, the Old Ones way,

Walking in a R'lyeh wonderland.

Cracked

2011-12-19T19:18:00.001-06:00

The other day, I was getting ready to do some spell work. I got out my trusty mortar and pestle, the black marble one I've had for nearly twenty years, and gave it a quick little rinse in the kitchen. And the motherfucker cracked in half!

I knew it had some structural damage and with it being a device for heavy grinding and pounding, it was bound to finally fall apart *someday* but I wasn't expecting it to come apart in my hands right before I actually needed it. You try grinding star anise pods in a half-there mortar and see how much fun that is.

So off I went to the Greatest Witch Shop Ever and picked up this gorgeous granite piece.

Me likey!

'Tis The Season

2011-12-18T17:16:00.000-06:00

Fuck Yeah, Witches!

2011-12-16T01:44:00.000-06:00

About a year ago, you may recall, there was a super trifecta of Full Moon, Lunar Eclipse, and Winter Solstice all happening at the same time. Maybe you took advantage of that situation and set some mojo into action.

I did.

A lot of shit went down from then until now. Most of it really good, some of it mildly frustrating, and all of it pushing and pulling me towards my goal. All of 2011 feels like a blur to me. The only parts of it that stand out in my memory were those connected to what I was working for. And now, a year later, it's happening.

Co-Witch Aithne and I are picking up our lives and moving across state to Houston.

The prospect of doing such a thing would normally make me nervous. There are a lot of factors that would make most people think twice. But speaking only for me, there is no choice but this one. The only choice is to go. To be in that city that makes me feel alive, awesome, fed, and cute again. To be with those people I would give up my life for. To finally start really thriving again. Whenever we've had doubts or I've dealt with skeptical friends and relatives, I've had a calm resolve that everything would happen exactly as I wanted it to.

And now it is.

Sure, there might be bumps in the road. Sure, we might have to make a few sacrifices along the way. Sure, we might yada yada yada. But I'm as sure of this as I have been about anything in my life.

And now...I have to start packing.

Muse Powers: Now With More Perky

2011-12-09T18:26:00.001-06:00

Co-Witch Aithne: I want to do this "Grand Hotel" musical. It sounds marvelous. I've honestly never heard of it before you posted the Fisher King video on Facebook and they linked to it.

Veles: MUSE POWERS ACTIVATE!

Aithne: *lulz*

Veles: *pew*pew*pew*

Aithne: My mental image of that was awesome. You like ripping open your shirt Clark Kent style and lasers coming out your nips.

Veles: All the inspiration in the Universe comes from my nipples.

Veles The Computer Slayer

2011-12-07T12:51:00.001-06:00

Sister of Veles: "Hey, check out this new laptop that no one is using that you can have for free!"

Veles: "Oh cool!" *type*type*type* "It has a built in webcam!" *type*type*type* "And Skype!"

Computer: *screeching noise*

Sister of Veles: "What's that screeching noise?"

Veles: "I have no idea." *type*type*type*

Computer: *flatines*

Sister of Veles: "This is why you can't have nice things."

(And Scene)

Your Daily Dose Of Craft History

2011-11-30T09:24:00.000-06:00

Impertinent Cheeks

2011-11-29T07:19:00.001-06:00

According to Google Analytics, the most common phrase that brought someone to this blog this week was:

Spanked Witch

I am officially pleased.

WTFBBQ: Witchcraft Style

2011-11-29T03:27:00.001-06:00

Sometimes I really want to network and get to know my ~~supposed~~ Co-Religionists. And sometimes, I want to wrap blankets around myself and only talk to the people I love. And as amusing as the stories are when I relate what my pals and I are up to, the stories I get from playing in the sandbox give me the lulz for days.

Picture it, Facebook, 2011. A Witchcraft discussion group, where posters are invited to state their locations, and traditions if any.

Me: "Gardnerian Seeker, Texas."

Lady who contacted me backchannel, hereafter called Skittles: "Hi! I did some searching for you, and there are several Gardnerian bloggers in Texas. There's also this guy who lives in your area who seems to know some foks. He's kind of sarcastic, but you might consider contacting him."

Now, at this point I'm thinking, "Did this woman really just refer me to myself?" Granted, my legal name and this blog aren't connected to each other, but as I've plastered my face here a few times, I'm hardly invisible. And, no foolin', my face is hardly forgettable. *lulz* But as I'm the only sarcastic bastard blogging from this area, surely she's talking about me. Unless by "in your area" she meant Texas and was talking about His Royal Strifeness.

Me: "Hi! Thanks for contacting me, and for the information. Who is this blogger and where might I be able to find him?"

Skittles: "I'm not allowed to give you that information."

That's right boys and girls. I just got cock blocked from contacting myself.

Thanksgiving: Now With More Bitchcraft

2011-11-23T05:18:00.001-06:00

"I am going to enchant the fuck out of these pies, with hopes that it will keep my Idiot Bitch Sister from saying something stupid. Because the back-up plan is putting Hot Foot Powder on the Deviled Eggs." - as said on Twitter

*And by "hot foot powder" I mean Harm None, the threefold law, no personal gain, and all that other stuff. You never know when the Ethics Trolls are watching.

More Tales From The Witches

2011-11-12T22:00:00.001-06:00

Evn: "Every coven she approached told her she needed to do some work on herself first, and she interpreted that as a rejection. She seemed to like being rejected. She was stuck in that headspace of being a victim."

Me: "That way she never has to look at herself and accept that anything is ever her fault."

Evn: "Exactly!"

Me: "Fast forward ten years, and she's got a lot of Silver RavenWolf books and is married to a man in prison."

Evn: *making the noise one makes when having an aneurysm followed by lots of scream-laughing*

I think I won that round.

Things Witches Say: 90's Redux

2011-11-12T13:31:00.000-06:00

Evn: "Have you by any chance seen the movie Spice World?"

Me: "I have indeed!"

Evn: "Isn't it a surprisingly good movie?"

Me: "Its fun. Especially with a hangover."

Evn: "I kinda wanna be a Spice Girl now. Hot Foot Spice!"

Me: "HA!"

Evn: "You're gonna blog that, aren't you?"

Zigazig-ah everyone! Zigazig-ah!

Sophie's Choice: Tarot Edition

2011-11-05T20:08:00.000-05:00

When you have a sizable collection of tarot decks, some that you read with regularly and occasionally switch out, do you ever feel guilty for putting one deck back in the storage chest and bringing out another, with it's fresh deck smell and significantly less bent cards?

Or am I just overly sentimental? *lulz*

Marketing The Witch

2011-11-03T03:17:00.000-05:00

Halloween afternoon Aithne and I were out running errands, picking up the last little pieces for our costumes. While at Spirit, we noticed there were very cheap resin pentagram necklaces for sale right next to their witches brooms. You can take a lookie-loo at them here and here.

We thought this was funny, had a little giggle, and finished our shopping.

Before heading home, we stopped at a pizza place because we were starveballs after all that retail therapy. And there behind the counter was a middle aged woman dressed as a Halloween witch, wearing the above moon and pentagram necklace.

It struck me as interesting, because in all likelihood this woman probably isn't a Witch. Maybe she knows something about Wicca, or knows some Wiccans, or has seen enough movies to know that pentagram (sometimes) = Witch. Maybe she just thought it looked spooky or cosmic enough to lend street cred to her outfit. I don't know. But there she was at work dressed as a witch, wearing a symbol that many of us have had to fight and struggle to wear or have acknowledged as a symbol of our religion.

I myself went so far as contacting a lawyer about filing a discrimination suit against my school district for trying to prevent me from wearing said symbol, so I've been there. So it's weird to see non-Witches donning symbols that any other time of year might get them strange looks, fired from their jobs, or bodily injury threatened against their persons.

But I didn't find it offensive. Certainly I found the presentation tacky, but all in all, we thought it was kinda funny.

But as I think on it, it definitely raises some interesting questions about the marketability of alternative/fringe groups to the mainstream public.

Scenes From Halloween

2011-11-01T22:44:00.000-05:00

Co-Witch Aithne as Santa Muerte

Cowboy Samedi

Lord and Lady Death

Every successful party leads to me being passed out on some stairs.

I hope your Halloween celebration was filled with as much mirth, reverence, and Gayness as ours was.

Happy Hallows

2011-10-31T12:49:00.001-05:00

Speaking of love spells...

2011-10-28T19:44:00.000-05:00

If you happen to be living under a rock and aren't keeping up with the book discussion, there's a new post up today all about love spells with contributions by the fabulous Deborah Lipp whose books you should be reading.

With Samhain mere days away, with it's long-established traditions of divination, it's not surprising lots of the old folk charms and children's party games for this night have to do with divining the identity of one's future lover. The one my grandmother taught me as a boy involved twisting the apple stem while reciting the alphabet to determine the initial of your sweetie.

For my whole life, the stem has always broken off on the letter "C".

I shared this little game with my nephew today who has recently taken an interest in divination. Each of the apples he tried it on gave the letter "I" and we looked at each other in unison and said the name Isabelle. That will be something interesting to follow up on as he gets older.

The reason we had so many apples on hand is that I was doing my Halloween baking, including an apple pie made with philter ingredients found in Chapter 4 of Mastering Witchcraft. And, witchery not withstanding, you've probably also made apple pies with the same ingredients.

"It's apple pies that make the menfolks mouths water. Pies made from apples...like these!"

Have a bite?

Theft

2011-10-25T16:38:00.000-05:00

There's a new gentleman in my life that I've enjoyed spending time with and getting to know, and among many shared interests, he's also Pagan himself. He's recently been dealing with some people who were preventing him from getting access to some material goods that are his, basically holding his money hostage. He was at his wits end trying to fix this through the usual channels, and he decided to throw some magic at the situation.

Here's a little something I came up with on the fly. While I gave him specific instructions, I challenge you to let the rhyme itself instruct you on the details of the working.

By blood and twine

Return what's mine

By coin and leaf

Reveal the thief

In cauldron black

A change is made

The thing that's mine

Now repaid

By Crook

By Straight

By Running Line

I change my Fate

Return What's Mine.

Wee Goddess

2011-10-23T16:14:00.000-05:00

I love tiny idols. The sort of idol that can hang out unobtrusively on a bookshelf, or tucked into a nook somewhere. I have a brass figurine of Lilith I used to carry in my pocket my last year of school. I also have a very phallic Egyptian fella who hides between books with his, uh..bookmark poking out at you.

This Wee Goddess, a bit Willendorf meets Minoan Snake Goddess, has taken up residency on the top tier of my desk.

Nema

2011-10-21T20:47:00.001-05:00

My friends have been engaged in a book club, which matters of schedule and the annoyances of life prevented me from attending. I'm madder than a box of shaken snakes about that. But I read the relevant chapter on the day of discussion and considered the questions on the Evil Minion's Trothwy was kind enough to email me.

As if my life couldn't be *more* obsessed with this book than it has been for nearly twenty years, I enjoyed jumping back in it, knowing that my beloved friends were doing the same.

This book and I go way back. It gave a very young would-be Witch everything he could possibly want in a "paperback, primer for Witches"; love spells, invocations, recipes, methods for conjuring demons, curses invoking the Devil, secret jewelry and Witch Signs. I Fucking Loved It.

But, it flavored my disposition. It made me something of an elitist, and incredibly judgmental about what "my people" sometimes get up to, or make broad statements about what it is "we" believe.

I look at the "Pagan community" sometimes and I find myself thinking "I really don't fucking belong here."

I didn't become a Witch for political reasons, or because of feminism, or nature, or even an initial desire to worship Pagan gods. The Gods came with, and that was groovy. But, no. I became a Witch because, well, I wanted to be a Witch.

Enter Mastering Witchcraft, Stage Left.

In Chapter One, the very first exercise involves severing your ties to previous religious and doctrinal systems, including political ones, by making a token gesture of blasphemy as a form of meditation. For three nights, you light a candle, recite the Lord's Prayer backwards, and then blow out the candle. Now, when you're a 9 year old kid, raised on Catholicism and horror movies, the notion of saying The Lord's Prayer backwards can be slightly daunting, even a bit scary. And, I must confess, just a wee bit satisfying, if you have a blasphemous soul like I do.

So there you are, new to Witchcraft, lighting a candle and preparing to say The Lord's Prayer backwards, and your imagination runs wild. Will demons crawl up through the floor and drag you away? Will Jehovah Himself strike you down, murder your family, smite your orchards, and all that other fun stuff right out of the Old Testament? Are you unknowingly making a pact with the Devil Himself? Are you secretly hoping all of the above will happen because you always thought the Devil was kinda sexy?

I was a *highly* imaginative child. And that's the key reason for this token gesture of blasphemy.

It's not much to do with God, or the Devil, or even real blasphemy. This token gesture is meant to remove the shackles from your thinking, to wake up the deep mind, and to bring those childhood fantasies and fears to the surface, so that they can be sharpened, honed, and used to fuel the magic you'll be doing later.

And so I did it.

After you blow out the candle, saying the words "So Mote It Be" for perhaps the first time in life, you're to sit in darkness for awhile, letting your fears well up and your imagination run wild. It was scary, and thrilling in the way that doing something you shouldn't always is.

The Lord's Prayer meant nothing to me as a kid, and it means little to me now. You can't blaspheme something you don't consider holy. But it was the first time in my life that someone suggested that I had control of my thinking, that I was free to think and learn about whatever I pleased, that I could render ideas many consider to be unquestioningly powerful and authoritative (orthodox religion, conventional thinking, nationalism) completely useless and silly.

If that's not changing consciousness at will, then nothing is.

It's certainly not a politically correct book. It has some *really* intense curses in it that I'm willing to bet more have performed than will admit to. I'm quite fond of it's Barrabas Spell and The Grand Operation of Bewitchment. It's one of the first such books to suggest modern minded Witches focus more on honest lust magic instead of confusing their desires with "love." It's conjuration of the demon Vassago differs from those found in ceremonial texts, including an altered sigil. It offers rituals of necromancy, as a form of divination and in connection with love magic. It suggests methods for raising storms. It doesn't demoralize the practitioner, or make you feel guilty for having angry thoughts. For such a "basic primer" it has a weight and seriousness that most books that came after it seriously lack.

As Paganism continues to court mainstream approval, doing inter-faith work and trying to get into bed with Christianity, a book like this *really* makes it difficult to convince your Baptist neighbors that you practice a peaceful (saccharine), womyn-centric, environmental religion and don't curse people.

I wish there were more books like it.

The Mighty Dead

2011-10-20T00:14:00.003-05:00

For a variety of reasons, the idea of "ancestors" is a weird one for me. I suppose it's a natural condition of being adopted. I haven't a clue about my ancestors of blood, and only a few adopted ancestors I care to remember at all.

But I always find myself thinking about our departed Witches on Samhain, and where we would be (or if we would be) were it not for their efforts.

Hecate's Finishing School For Young Witches

2011-10-16T16:59:00.000-05:00

I would give anything to know the context behind this photo, found randomly via Googlemancy.

Baubles For The Dead

2011-10-10T17:56:00.000-05:00

A Necromantic Ring of Doom!

"Been to see The Man about some of His Sorcerous Black Candles..."

What Witch doesn't love a cauldron full of black candles?

Why?

2011-10-09T04:15:00.000-05:00

"You seem to be doing pretty well on your own, why do you want to hitch yourself to somebody else's wagon? What are you going to get out of it that you don't already have?"

I wonder if seekers of all sorts come up against similar questions. Paganism seems to be the one religious group I'm familiar with where folks tend to look at you a little funny when you want to go deeper, commit yourself, seek training from an actual flesh and blood person in a tradition.

Why? Does commitment scare us? Does seeing it in others, when we aren't finding it in ourselves for whatever reason, make us feel somehow less valid, less religious, less spiritual? I don't know, and the answer really only matters if *your* answer to the question is one you don't like.

Crushed velvet, glitter, a sense of entitlement and an eternal self-imposed victimization will always be enough for some people. I'm not one of them.

But I was thinking tonight, as I burned incense and poured offerings at my altar in thanks for the much-needed rain we've been having in Texas, why am I drawn to do something that among many self-identified Wiccans is out of fashion? What am I *really* seeking?

I could wax eloquent about community, structure, long established egregore's that have a lot of love and fierce dedication and protection connected to them. Sure. When you know that a lot of people have dedicated their lives to something, that they still keep it as something special, and that it isn't readily available to all and sundry at the local bookstore, that comes with a heavy slice of the best sort of karma. Or at least, I think it probably does. I'm just guessing.

But when I remember standing in circle with people I love fiercely, who feel like Family of the oldest sort, and how those few hours could have gone on forever and I'd have never once missed the outside world, as if I were someone lost in Faery and never caring, well, that's really the bottom line isn't it?

Lure Them Into The Witch Cult With Cake

2011-10-08T00:53:00.000-05:00

I've spent the latter part of my week baking, as the cool snap and coming of Autumn re-ignited my baking juices. And when I bake..the menfolk tend to start coming to the yard, if you know what I mean. Pax especially has been urging me to share.

"Lure people into the Witch Cult with cake!" he says to me.

So, I'll bite. Here's a recipe, a first ever for this blog o' witchery.

Hummingbird Cake

2 cups flour

1 cup sugar

1 cup brown sugar, loosely packed

1/2 tsp salt

2 tsp baking soda

2 tsp cinnamon

1 small pinch allspice

3 eggs, beaten

1 1/4 cups vegetable oil

2 tsp vanilla

1 can crushed pineapple, with the juice

1 cup pecans, or any nuts of your choice

2 cups bananas, mashed

1 cup coconut

Confectioners Sugar, to sprinkle on after it's baked

Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees.

Whisk the dry ingredients together.

Add eggs and oil, and mix. Stir in the vanilla extract, pineapple, coconut, nuts, bananas.

Bake in well-greased loaf pans or a good sized bundt pan for 45 minutes, varying the time to suit your oven.

As you can see, no actual hummingbirds were harmed in the making of this cake. It's a sweeter, more cake-like cousin of the banana nut bread, and it makes a nice breakfast paired with coffee or tea.

Team Frances vs. Team Jet

2011-10-07T00:59:00.000-05:00

Speaking of Twilight...

Evn and I were having another one of our phone chats, which are now infamous and you should all be jealous you don't get to participate, and we were chatting about the Shockingly Horrifying Funny Things I sometimes say, which we may or may not share someday.

As the conversation swerved, as it often does, and we got off topic, I said to Evn:

"I"m just the Jet to your Frances."

This inspired a bit of compatrioting, because we then started assigning our mutual friends into either the Frances category or the Jet.

Evn: "You'll have to fight Chiron for the Jet position."

Me: "I think there's room for several Jet's and several Frances's in our circle of friends."

Evn: "It'll be just like Twilight, only not. Team Frances vs. Team Jet!"

Me: "We'll have much better merchandise and the screaming teenagers will all get poisoned."

Evn: "And burned alive. Twice."

Me: "Then we can bury the ashes in the backyard."

Truthfully? Evn and I are both a Frances. We're salty and sarcastic. I get to be Jet because, well, I'm a ginger, and Evn is taller than me, and of the two of us, I'm definitely bubblier. Of all of us, I'm the nicest one.

*snort*

So now we put it to the question: Are you a Frances? Are you a Jet?

Inquiring Aunties want to know!

A Simple Spell For The Jilted Witch

2011-10-07T00:29:00.000-05:00

Should you ever find yourself burning black candles at midnight and sticking hat pins in waxen images made to look like the no good fucker who did you wrong, might I suggest the following song as a spell.

Because conscious of it or not, Adele is definitely channeling my favorite witch Medea in this. And while Medea's methods may have, shall we say, gone overboard just a bit, she meant business.

Press play and get to work. Hatpins not included.

Making Magic

2011-10-04T19:18:00.000-05:00

The WitchFather's sigil, painted in ink mixed with blood and a few other things. I wake up the sigil with my wand and clouds of incense smoke while invoking Himself, and then pour whiskey and other offerings over the sigil. It's messy, it's dirty, and it's glorious.

A protection oil, loosely inspired by the classic recipes for Fiery Wall Of Protection, though tweaked and added to. Frankly, I pity the fool who inspires me to have to use this.

The Attack Of The Wal-Mart New-Ager

2011-10-04T16:29:00.000-05:00

*This story actually took place about a year ago, and I hesitated to share it, but I still get the giggles everytime I think about it, so enjoy. Or not.*

Sometimes in the course of your career as a Witch, you are bound to have some run-ins with some less than desirable folks.

I speak specifically to what I like to call the Wal-Mart New-Ager.

The Wal-Mart New-Ager is usually a recent emigree from some form of fundamentalist thinking. She decided that a female deity, positive thinking, political action, and enlightenment are things that she's attuned to, but she hates organized religion and she's not actually a Real Witch or anything, just spiritual, and has an over-fondness for her spice rack and cats. She picks and chooses from the Spirituality Shelf an assortment of things that are cheaply made and blasphemously expensive and possibly responsible for the oppression of third-world countries and small businesses.

Going back to that fundamentalist thinking: She Knows She's Right. And you are wrong. So while Deepak Chopra and Communist Vegan Sex-Toys don't really have much of anything to do with Wicca, if you tell her so, then you are a tool of the patriarchy.

I recently had a run in with one of these types on Facebook.

I should preface this story by saying that I can be ~~a raging bitch-monster that makes Lilith Herself look like Mary Fuckin' Poppins~~ incredibly sassy and I sometimes say really inappropriate but hillarious things. All of my friends love this about me. I'm fairly sure it's why they keep me around.

I had met this particular Wal-Mart New-Ager through a sassy, snarky comment I had written on someone elses post. She had loved my quips. I'd made her laugh for days.

I'd just gotten off the phone with Evn, having said something Really Fucking Funny which he will share with you eventually, so I posted on Facebook that:

"My friends encourage me to say shocking, horrifying, hillarious things!!!"

The response from my friends was the usual stuff:

"Yeah!" "You're awesome!" "We Love You" "Let's Make-Out!"

And then, like something out of a Twilight Novel, in swooped the Wal-Mart New-Ager.

"But only you are responsible for the things you say. It's not fair to blame other people for your actions."

So I responded to her:

"But, I like destroying people's lives with a carefully worded sentence or making small children weep with a clever turn of phrase. It's one of my skills!"

Oh, you would have thought I shit in her wheat-germ. Because she then proceeded to lecture me on how the Threefold Law was going to punish me.

The response from my friends was the sort of bemused, silent politeness that happens when someone soils their pants at the dinner table. I'm sure everyone was sitting back with their beverages waiting for one of my famous Scorch The Earth Fuck-Off Comments. But then a gentleman highly respected for his genius quipped:

"Pfft. Threefold-Law. Pfft."

My friends. I love them.

Be Welcomed, October!

2011-10-01T00:28:00.004-05:00

It is now October!

Many many moons ago, I bought a little metal cauldron with a Jack O'Lantern's face carved into the front. And one of my personal little rituals to welcome the Season of the Witch has been to fire it up the first night of October, and to light a new candle in it each night until Hallows.

And so it burns tonight.

Pagan Ejaculations

2011-09-27T03:21:00.001-05:00

No, no, no, get your head out of the gutter!

Ejaculations, for those not familiar with unfortunately named practices of Catholicism, are short prayers that are repeated throughout the day. You can think of them as being like coins dropped in a swear jar, because you get bonus points with Big Y for saying them.

Examples of ejaculations would be "Jesus Christ, Shepherd of Judea!" or "Oh Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me, a sinner" or "Hail Holy Queen!" It's fun, especially since they are often uttered in times of annoyance and in practice are used in place of other choice words not usually used in polite society. So whenever someone, especially a Southern Catholic Lady says "Jesus Christ, Shepherd of Judea!" she's really saying Fuck. A lot.

So if you are utterly stressed because your mother in law is criticizing your housekeeping skills and the cat just relieved herself in the soup, you can say "Jesus Christ, Have Mercy!" And not only will you feel better, but you get credit for time served on your Purgatory score-card. Do not pass Limbo, do not go straight to Malebolge! However, as my Parish Priest has informed me on more than one occasion, saying "Jesus H Fucking Christ, Goddamn it all to Hell Twice!" does not count.

How would this work for Pagans? Granted, we don't go in for that hell/redemption/fear of the lord stuff but...I think it could be interesting.

If your mind is going where my mind is going, this can get R rated pretty quickly, especially if you worship gods commonly depicted with an erect phallus, horns, generous cleavage, or a real love for swinging parties.

As it stands, I'm voting for Great Baphomet's Cock, which art awesome in all the worlds! as my personal favorite.

Chime in with yours!

Post-Equinox Divination

2011-09-24T03:25:00.000-05:00

The Equinox has come, Fall is on it's way, and the Samhain season will be with us very, very soon. I can't wait. I love Fall probably more than any season, and all those juicy Scorpio vibes start to really sit up and take notice this time of year.

In the interest of looking ahead from now until Hallows, I did a tarot spread based on The Witches Pyramid to see what I should be aware of, and what I should be working towards, in the season to come.

To Know

Two of Cups. As a presently single person, this card always comes with a "ooooh!" and a "oh god, not again!" response. I would very happily see my dating life turn into something more serious, more stable and constant. I won't say no to romance, ever. But maybe this doesn't refer to lovers. It could be an indication of a different kind of partnership.

To Dare

Eight of Wands. Sudden advancement, freedom of action, travel. A message.

To Will

Queen of Pentacles, Reversed. My LWB tells me this card indicates dependence. The QofP is warm, generous, nurturing. She takes care of others, tends to their needs and their projects. I would interpret her reversal to mean that she's neglecting herself, giving energy and form to other people's goals and needs and letting her own wither from inattention. That's me to the letter. But her position tells me that I can break this pattern, that I can act upon this information and do something about it magically.

To Keep Silent

The Wheel, Reversed. This...gives me pause. It could mean ill fortune. It could mean that things are stuck. But wheels turn. That's what they do. They turn, they go around, they turn again. Here, it's in a position of What Not To Do. Perhaps the message here is to not to try to force the wheel, to try to maintain a death-grip of control on what's already in movement. If the 8 of Wands is looked at in relation to the Wheel reversed, I would say most certainly that I need to let the roller coaster keep moving.

I pulled three more cards, to enhance what I've already seen above. The result?

Damn, it's going to be an interesting Fall.

Tarot Mavens, feel free to chime in with your own interpretations, if you feel so inclined. Help a Witch out and I'll send you cookies. Srsly.

One Foot In The Cauldron, One Foot On The Goat

2011-09-22T20:14:00.000-05:00

Happy Equinox Witches!

If you aren't gearing up for the fun Halloween movie season by watching "The Dark Secret of Harvest Home", well, you should be!

Spell-Checkin Your (After)Life

2011-09-19T04:26:00.000-05:00

While window-shopping online at the web store of a Very Famous Witch, I saw the following advertisement for an in-shop reader.

"(Name of psychic lady removed) is a 2nd Degree Witch, currently training for her 3rd degree also trained by VFW as a Median ,Psychic and Tarot Counselor. Psychic Lady is currently booking appointments and accepting walk-ins."

Median. As in that strip of land between highways with trees planted on it.

When did that become a marketable Craft skill? I bet you'd need a lot of grounding to pull that one off.

Jokey-jokes aside, it seems wise to refrain from shelling out hundreds of dollars to a Medium who presents herself as a strip of land.

Pretty Pictures

2011-09-14T20:07:00.000-05:00

We all know the power that aesthetics have in magic.

We furnish our temples, decorate our altars, dress (or undress), and burn incenses that, on some level, create an aesthetic shift from the mundane to the sacred. And while, objectively, you're still standing naked in your living room, you've turned the living room Off and turned Temple Between The Worlds On.

I sometimes find myself musing on how much the aesthetics are the magic. I've thought about this a lot over the years, going from doing pretty shoddily staged plays in high school to fabulously done theatricals in college. Believe me, it helps your performance when you are wearing a real straightjacket and fighting with swords that could in fact kill someone.

I believe this is true when it comes to magical tools.

I started thinking about this again when I was reading cards for my friend Sardonicus. I've been yapping about the cards alot lately, since that's been the focus of most of my magical work for the past few months. He's noticed a definite change in the quality of the readings, and in my eagerness to actually read for people after I switched decks.

The first tarot deck I ever bought was the Sacred Rose Tarot. It's artwork appealed to my sensibilities. And gorgoues though it is, in the twelve years I've owned it, it has never spoken to me nor given accurate or useful readings.

But in someone else's hands, it's probably amazing.

Tarot, being so largely visual as opposed to runes or palmistry, you have to like the images. You spend a lot of time looking at them. But what if you love the images but the deck doesn't talk? Is there more than aesthetics at work? Does your personal magical pactice or religious beliefs determine which tools are going to work for you and which ones are just pretty pictures?

I really learned to read the tarot using the standard Rider-Waite/Smith deck. It's traditional, there's a long established egregore around it, and since so many decks are basically clones of the RWS, it's weighted with a good bit of lineaged authority. But the artwork? Meh.

I've picked up a number of decks to replace the RWS, something more in line with who I am, and that has artwork that appeals to me. Crowley? I suppose if I were more CM or had more of an interest in astrology, it would speak to me beyond having gorgeous artwork. DruidCraft? It's fabulous for reading for Witches and as a deck for personal meditation.

The only deck that's been talking, clearly geared towards Wiccans and stripped of a lot of the CM of the RWS, is the Robin Wood. I know some people make fun of this deck, and while the cards are pretty friendly, some of the suits get pretty dark, the swords especially.

I've been using the five-card spread in the Little White Booklet for general readings, and when I shuffled for my friend Sardonicus, five cards sprayed out of the deck and landed on the floor. Those five cards answered his question. That shit has never happened with other decks.

So I put the question out there. Do the aesthetics of your particular practice determine which tools work best for you?

What god is this?

2011-09-10T15:01:00.000-05:00

On Facebook, I'm a member of one of the several hundreds of pages about Paganism. This one in particular about a specific branch of Witchcraft. It's an open group, there isn't much in the way of discussion, but there are Initiates of the Trad in question participating to answer questions and steer people towards good resources.

Just the sort of setting I've come to appreciate. No spell-begging. No twee new agey hokiness. Just some folks having a chat. It's almost like a less in-depth version of the lists I'm on, where I've learned more by reading archives and searching for answers than I have from most of the books I've read.

But there was one post which nearly broke my heart.

Someone who has been HP for an eclectic circle for some time, but felt pulled toward this particular Trad, had read all of the books and internet files which claim to give away the Secrets, including what are supposedly the secret deity names, and had gone from there.

So far in fact that he had made these two deities his patrons. Because that's Who the books said They were.

Now, people's relationships with whatever Gods they may have are no one's business. The Two in question are really quite lovely, and I'm a big fan of both. And if everyone involved is happy, then there's no problem.

But the thought of a seeker choosing patron deities, not out of love or because the deities Themselves reached out, but because a handfull of folks with questionable ethics and motives wrote about it in a book, really makes me sad.

I'm also inclined to think it's Very Bad Mojo.

Innies, Outies, Let's Call The Whole Thing Off?

2011-09-01T14:59:00.001-05:00

Knowing some folks out there in Woo-Woo Land get their self-righteousness all in a bunch everytime someone mentions Polarity as anything other than a pejorative, I offer you a different way of looking at it.

Source

Square Of Mercury

2011-08-31T19:56:00.000-05:00

I've not done a lot of work with the various planetary squares. As a young Witchlet, I used the Square of Mars and The Operation Of Grand Bewitchment from Mastering Witchcraft to curse my sophomore year Spanish teacher, and it was *extremely* effective.

I've been doing a lot of divination lately. I've switched decks, because my Rider Waite/Smith wasn't talking, and I've been reading for myself and others. I'm getting good results. The cards are talking. They're talking so much they invade my dreams when I sleep with them at night.

I was inspired to re-visit the planetary squares, making a Square of Mercury for divination work, using Huson's directions and recipes for incense.

My dear friend Trothwy has a very informative post about the Square of Mercury here that you should check out.

So True

2011-08-30T00:09:00.000-05:00

"Never again the burning." Someone on the group's outskirts quoted the old radical tag line. It's a highly romantic concept: claim some suitably persecuted ancestors and write yourself a moral blank check for anything you choose to do."

- Rosemary Edghill

The Bowl Of Night, published in Bell, Book, and Murder

Got Your Bone

2011-08-28T18:20:00.000-05:00

While helping my aunt at her ranch, I happened to notice that she had a young deer skull impaled on a stake in her front yard. Apparently, her pack of dogs had dug it up from somewhere and proudly brought it home to her. It had a bit of goat still stuck to it, so she put it up on the stake to finish bleaching.

I should also mention she has a concrete statue of Persephone in her front yard, but that's a story for another day.

A few Sundays ago, when my aunt came over to my parents house for Sunday dinner, she had something wrapped up in plastic with her.

The stag skull. And it was for me.

Sometimes my family really surprises me.

The Tale Of Bambie

2011-08-03T02:16:00.001-05:00

No, not the deer.

Once upon a great long while ago, though it was really only about 12 years, I was a young Pagan without a driver's license and a decent disposable income for a kid that age. But unlike most 14 year olds, my disposable income went towards filling my bookshelves and purchasing things like candles and mugwort.

Not having a driver's license, or living in a place with public transport, I had to beg my mother to drive me the 45 minutes to a neighboring city to go to bookstores. Being an insanely well-behaved child, she usually went along with it.

It was on just such a day that I met my first ever openly identified Pagan.

Her name was Bambie, and no I'm not kidding.

I saw Bambie before she saw me. It's hard to miss a woman who looks like a middle-aged Stevie Nicks on meth in a long leather trenchcoat with a huge quartz crystal tied around her neck. Did I mention it was summer? Because it was. And summer in Texas is not a time for leather, or trenchcoats, or the wearing of much of anything.

I also happened to notice Bambie because she appeared to be attempting to banish the books in the Christianity section, which was one row over from the New Age books. Dramatic arm-gestures, banishing pentagrams, and lots of flailing. My Spidey-Senses immediately alerted me to danger, but before I could make a quiet get-away, she rounded the corner and focused her sights on me. A young person with a stack of Witchcraft books in his arms.

Fresh meat.

She introduced herself and I gave a fake name. She invited me to sit on the floor with her, an offer I declined, and began launching into an explanation of Wicca, the Goddess, broomsticks, and asked if I had any questions she could answer for me.

I said I didn't, which was clearly not the answer she wanted to hear.

She went through the shelves, removing books she said gave Real Witches a bad name. The culprits? Mostly the Crowley, Margot Adler, Laurie Cabot, and everything by Starhawk. She moved those books to where the Bibles were stocked. More flailing.

I attempted to ~~run the fuck away from her~~ finish my selection and leave, but she asked to see the books I planned to purchase. At this point, I don't even remember what they were. I think Buckland's Candle-Burning Rituals and one of Z. Budapest's books was in the stack.

She scolded me for wanting "power-over" and put all of my choices back on the shelf, and then handed me a copy of Buckland's Big Blue Book. Which I already owned. She handed me a copy of Silver RavenWolf's Spells For Protection. Which I find detestable. She handed me the Waite tarot deck. When I said that I already had a tarot deck, she suggested I burn it and replace it with this one. Any deck a 14 year old would choose would be filled with "Dark Majicks."

I'd already spent quite a bit of time at the store, and more time than was really safe talking with Bambie, and when I offered my good-byes, saying that I had to leave since my mother was waiting for me...Bambie grabbed me by the ankle and told me I didn't have to go anywhere. And she didn't let go.

She asked for my name, address, and phone number so she could contact me for further teaching. I rambled off a fake name and the memorized number of the local police station, and then I very quickly got the fuck out of there. I told my mother what happened, and she alerted the store manager.

And, if you knew my mother, that was a lot better than whooping Bambie's ass right there in public.

Growing up with Stranger-Danger, why on earth would I have stuck around, continuing a conversation with someone who was so clearly unstable and likely did not have the best of intentions? I'm not sure. I suppose part of it was the excitement of "OMG A REAL LIFE PAGAN IS TALKING WITH ME!" But the strong message inside my head was that Bambie was off, and that I needed to get away from her. Quickly.

I was lucky. A lot of people aren't.

That could have been the end of Paganism for me. I could have decided that all Pagan's were nuts, weirdos, creepy people who grabbed teenagers by the leg and encouraged them to do things behind their parents backs. Or, more likely, my parents could have put their foot down and forbade any further involvement with something that put me in contact with such people.

But thankfully, it didn't work out that way. Instead, I did a lot banishing rituals, cleansings, and protection spells that did not come from SRW. I hoped that Bambie dialed the number for the local police station, trying to contact a 14 year old boy, and got in an awful lot of trouble.

That was my first lesson that not everyone huddled under the umbrella of The Community is safe, sane, ethical, or anyone's friend.

Google Divination

2011-08-02T17:25:00.000-05:00

Re-reading a favorite blog of mine, I saw where Cosette did this Google Divination meme. Lover of Memes that I am, I thought I'd give it a go.

1. Veles needs to be validated by one of the common credit cards.

Since I don't have a credit card, or want one, I'm going to take this as a reference to Seeking. I don't *need* to be validated by anyone or anything, thank you very much. Am Valid Enough! Although it's no secret where my interests lie.

2. Veles needs economic growth.

Don't we all? But point taken.

3. Veles needs a job everyone!

Have a job, along with running a house and helping my elderly parents, which is not as satisfying as I would like. Point taken, oh wise Google!

4. Veles needs to work on Supernova dodging.

So I should set up more wards and re-read Psychic Self-Defense? That's good advice.

5. Veles needs a lot facelifting.

I beg to differ! My face is quite lovely just the way it is, thankyouverymuch. Ask anyone!

6. (Lord) Veles needs this done right more than he needs it done fast.

Now that's interesting. It's a reference from a RPG but it totes screams about my feelings about the Craft and being a Seeker. It also mirrors what I got from several readings back in April.

7. Veles needs Perun, and tries, helping himself.

Perun being the sky god in Slavic myth, Veles being an underworld deity, and the two are ever engaged in a battle between light and dark. So I need a little light in my life? Less Cthonic stuff and all that goes with it? Interesting.

8. Veles needs a few more points in Stealth.

I think I deserve credit for how much Stealth I'm able to maintain. Scorpio and all that. We don't tend to overshare.

9. Veles needs help urgently, and we demand the smelter be relocated away from the town.

Smelting

Now that's interesting and provides lots to think about. Am I the smelter? Do I need to relocate? You're much more insightful than a mere game, oh Googlemancy Chart!

10. Veles needs to re-examine whether the Turkish company Jalim Dis Ticaret limited Sirketi.

Am I limiting something or someone? Curiouser and Curiouser!

It was upon a Lammas Night...

2011-08-01T20:41:00.000-05:00

Here we are again.

Lammas is here and the elemental tides are shifting. We've crowned the Sun in his glory, but everyone at the party knows that the sickle is coming. The sickle always comes. We've danced this dance before. That the dance might one day stop is what keeps us coming.

Traditionally, in the days of yore, some rather backbreaking work would be done in the fields to get ready for winter. Outside my window to the east, I've watched that work being done for weeks. The tractors make the work less difficult, and starvation isn't the pressing concern it used to be.

Then again, maybe not. We're starting to see, on a big scale, what happens when you take without replenishing the system.

As we start plucking from the web those things we've woven into it, Lady Moon is renewing Her face, offering us a chance to plant some new seeds, to weave some new threads.

Paradox. One of the many things I love about the Craft.

For me, this night is one of reflection. Seventeen years ago, athame in hand for the first time, I plucked the fruit from the tree and began weaving some threads of my own.

So ask yourself: Where are you? Stuck in the warp or the weft? Did you water enough or neglect to remove the weeds? And what new threads do you want to weave?

Get to Work.

Music For Lammastide

2011-07-30T19:15:00.000-05:00

The Mark Of The Beast

2011-07-26T17:57:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I was helping out at my aunt's ranch. She's recooperating from a broken wrist, and she needed someone to haul the hay for her. Being the uber-butch He-Man-Witch that I am, naturally I was her first choice.

Being of a complexion commonly called Vampiric, I took the usual precautions for going out of doors, but I ended up with a sunburn on my cheeks and a few patches where I burned through my shirt.

There is currently, at the center of my chest, a one-inch wide pentagram sunburned into my skin, right next to my pentagram/burning heart tattoo.

If Witch Hunters come to examine me in the next few days, I'm totally fucked.

Sacrifice

2011-07-22T19:15:00.000-05:00

Living in a rural area, and with a rather large extended family, someone is always dropping by with the corn they just brought in from the fields or this seasons peach jam or meat from the bull they just slaughtered. The best thing to do, then, is to conjure up a huge pot of beef stew, especially when faced with awful Texas heatwaves that make regular cooking a dreaded task.

So that's what I found myself doing today. But I retained a portion of the meat, bloody and fat, some of the corn and a bottle of wine, which I will give to Dionysus tonight, along with incense and other things I know He's fond of.

I regret that my relationship with Him has been put on the back-burner of late, as other commitments get in the way or I can't always afford to lavish Him with the gifts He deserves. But as we approach the Harvest of First Fruits, it would be remiss not to share with my Gods what had been so graciously shared with me and my family.

Our relationships with the Gods is an interesting thing in modern Paganism. Some plug Them into their spells and rituals like items from a menu. Other's maintain passionate, loving relationships with a particular deity for decades. Lots of people approach the Gods from a one-sided view: Get me this job! Bring me this lover! Make my garden grow! Give me enlightenment and power! Put your arms around me and make me feel special! Justify my existence!

Ask yourself this: What do the Gods get out of being in relationship with me?

What are you laying on the altar that has value for Them?

Covert Witchery

2011-07-19T17:15:00.000-05:00

As Dame Fate would have it, synchronized with my renewed commitment to Cartomancy, my mother gifted me with these stoneware mugs, that she herself received as a gift.

Stack The Deck

2011-07-18T18:42:00.001-05:00

Having had a lot of downtime without all of my usual distractions (several months with no facebook will do that to you), I've been spending a lot of time deepening my Craft practice and spending time with my various tarot decks, working to rebuild my level of comfort with divination.

For whatever reason, I have a block when it comes to divination. Other forms of sorcery I can dive right into, stuff that others would stay pretty far away from. Necromancy? Bring it on! Nasty curses? I'll bring the goofer dust! But when friends find themselves in need of a reading...I put up the walls and recite a long list of reasons for why I just couldn't possibly do it.

Which is silly. And only further sets one up for failure. I'm a Scorpio with a Leo rising. We hate to fail.

I've had a handful of good readings in the past year, from Witches I love and trust, and a whole lot of bad ones from people in occult shops who charged $40 to tell me what I wanted to hear. I've given readings that have blown my mind. Frighteningly so. So why the block?

I suppose it's the Mercurial nature of the art that causes me to be so mistrustfull of it.

But I've been having long chats with Dame Fate and Mr. Hermes, taking trips to the crossroads, sleeping with my cards at night, and saying "Yes" to those who seek my counsel.

I find that having a glass of Strega before and during makes all the difference!

Flying Off The Broomhandle!

2011-07-17T14:52:00.000-05:00

Albiana of Flying Off The Broomhandle has returned, in a brand-new location, just in time for Lammastide. I can think of no better way to prepare for the First Harvest than by spending some time reading the fabulous words of this amazing Witch.

Outfitting The Temple

2011-07-01T21:49:00.000-05:00

"WitchFather"

in progress

Ah, Mercury...

2011-06-28T17:19:00.000-05:00

You're a tricksy fella, and I've given you enough whiskey to make my college years look like child's play, but after much fuss and circumstance, my techological woes to seem to be at an end.

Four, Five, Still Alive!

2011-05-09T14:42:00.000-05:00

Phew!

Rumors to the contrary, I'm still kicking. High-kicks with attitude even!

I've been wrestling with the gods of technology, fighting with my computer to get online. So not fun.

But in the meanwhile, I have been a very busy little Witch!

Aithne and I enjoyed a nine-day trip to visit our dear friends in Houston. Aside from our usual sight-seeing, and shenanigans, this trip gave us a chance to really spend some quality time with everyone and to not have to attempt to fit everything into a weekend.

I won't tell you everything that happened, but here are a few highlights.

Got to meet the fabulous Mrs. Drinkwalter and a few other folks I only knew from yahoo groups.
Indian grocery stores are THE BEST places to buy herbs and spices on the cheap.
Had dinner at an Austin restaurant with Ed Fitch.
Beltane
Woodruff Wine = YUM!

Living without internet for awhile, I've finished a lot of reading, caught up on a lot of movies, and GASP! practiced a lot of Witchcraft.

Taking a break from everything was fun, but not something I want to continue to do. Hopefully my problems will be finished soon and I'll be back on the broomstick making this place cook again.

Sabbatical

2011-04-09T18:03:00.000-05:00

Forgive my silence but I'm taking a bit of a break from online commitments for awhile.

Be back soon!

Things Witches Say: The Lovecraft After-Dark Edition

2011-03-30T00:42:00.000-05:00

A conversation Co-Witch Aithne and I just had, offered completely without context or backstory:

Aithne: "I don't understand the allure of tentacle rape."

Veles: "Yeah, I don't wanna get fucked by squid either"

Aithne: "Cthulhu doesn't like eating people out...THAT way! He just wants to eat out your soul"

Veles: "I.Have.To.Blog.This!"

This blog has officially become NSFW.

The Witch Is Back

2011-03-27T13:19:00.000-05:00

After a brief hiatus (travelling abroad will do that to you) Co-Witch Aithne has returned to the blogging world at a new location.

Kindly swing by and follow her. If everyone is nice, she'll share some of her latest craft projects.

The Entitlement Fairy: A Cautionary Tale

2011-03-26T02:34:00.003-05:00

Suzie (it could just as easily be Sam) is your average gal in her early twenties. She's read a few ~~books~~ websites about modern witchcraft and decided it's exactly the sort of thing that could do wonders for her.

She's bought herself a wand (forged iron is patriarchal!!!!), a gaudy pentacle necklace, and a size 2 pewter cauldron. She considers herself feisty, intelligent, and a sure-fire winner who can do great things for Wicca. The history of her new-found religion doesn't mean much to her, and she ignores the contributions and ideas of the various people who have shaped Wicca into what it is today. Better to rely on Wikipedia and gossip for history. Books are so last century!

After all, it's not a *real* religion, the way those nasty, dogmatic, patriarchal monotheisms are. There's no Bible. There's no right or wrong way. A forty year practitioner is no different than the person who just discovered Witchvox. It's about love and freedom and self-expression and doing whatever you want. You can make it up. You can talk to fairies. You can be a half-dragon/flying wombat/McWicca snack pack! And there's no one who can tell you otherwise!

When Suzie begins to interact with the local Pagan community, she doesn't approach people as a curious seeker or a serious, if new and unexperienced, co-religionist. She enters the door considering herself the most special princess around, and regardless of how much experience or perception another person might have, her personal assumptions entitle her to run the show.

You see, Suzie has fabulous ideas about what Paganism should be, how it needs to change to better suit her, and a long list of gripes about everything she personally feels left out of or is otherwise offended by. And she will move heaven and earth in making her voice heard.

The response from the community? If they pay her any mind at all, it's usually a resounding "Meh" before everyone goes back to their business. Maybe someone takes her to task, only renewing her crusade to rid the world of dogmas she personally dislikes. But generally? Nothing. The worst review is no review.

At this point, Suzie has one of two options. She can fess up that maybe, possibly, she might actually learn something if she shuts up long enough to listen and think about the things she reads. Or, since she considers Wicca to be a free-for-all, she can dub herself Grand Lady MoonSquirt and set herself up as an authority and start spreading her message to the world.

Suzie universally chooses the second option. There is always a would-be Martin Luther in any group.

Suzie disregards the need for study, and doesn't actually practice anything she reads about, but is really fucking dead-set on demanding the answers to her questions that are mostly already answered. Or would be answered if she engaged in her practice. Wicca is a mystery tradition after all, and even if you are going DIY, there are certain revelations that dawn on you over time.

But that requires work. Effort. Dedication to the Craft part of Witchcraft. All things that have fallen out of favor in recent years globally, but specifically among those drawn to Wicca. It's easier to bitch until someone spoonfeeds you the information than it is to find it for yourself. It's easier to be the Entitlement Fairy than it is to prove yourself as a serious, capable, powerful Witch. It's easier to fuck around in the shallow end than it is to jump off the diving board.

Suzie's story is an open-ended one. She might one day have a shamanic break where she realizes just how real this shit is and will begin to take it, and herself in connection to it, seriously. She might eventually get bored with it all, or run out of steam, or free-time, or money. She might even go back to her religion of origin, or pick a new one, and she will undoubtedly do great things for it.

It's really all up to Suzie to decide.

And that, boys and girls, is part of the Mystery.

Don't Be A Drag, Just Be A Queen

2011-03-24T16:16:00.003-05:00

I've been re-reading Bell, Book, and Murder because, well, it's an awesome book (3 books really, published in one collection) and because there just isn't enough fantastic Witch fiction. There's a reference from Jeremiah 45: 15-19 in Speak Daggers To Her about the Jews having gone looking for the Goddess.

15 Then all the men who knew that their wives had made offerings to other gods, and all the women who stood by, a great assembly, all the people who lived in Pathros in the land of Egypt, answered Jeremiah:

16 "As for the word that you have spoken to us in the name of the LORD, we will not listen to you.

17 But we will do everything that we have vowed, make offerings to the queen of heaven and pour out drink offerings to her,as we did, both we and our fathers, our kings and our officials, in the cities of Judah and in the streets of Jerusalem. For then we had plenty of food, and prospered, and saw no disaster.

18 But since we left off making offerings to the queen of heaven and pouring out drink offerings to her, we have lacked everything and have been consumed by the sword and by famine."

19 And the women said, "When we made offerings to the queen of heaven and poured out drink offerings to her, was it without our husbands’ approval that we made cakes for her bearing her image and poured out drink offerings to her?"

Sound familiar?

I'm a big fan of the Queen of Heaven, whether in Her Catholic disguise(s) or in Her full naked, Pagan glory.

I've recently set up, not merely a shrine, more like an entire wall and shelf-unit to the Queen of Heaven.

It was hard to fit everything into frame to give the full effect, and She's rather famous about not being fond of voyeurs to begin with. Above we have a globe and arrow, a gift from Compatriot Evn, and a framed print of Diana. On the shelf itself is Tonatzin, some candles, an Our Lady of Guadalupe novena, a holed-stone, a cauldron for burning incense, and my athame.

Knowing that somewhere a Third Waver just had a meltdown, I suggest you light some incense, click play, and join me in joyous idolatry of the Goddess of the Witches.

This

2011-03-23T16:07:00.000-05:00

"When we become Wiccans, that isn't the end of our religious exploration, but (if we choose) the beginning. I see a lot of people nowadays who choose to call themselves Wiccan, but who do not seem to be changing themselves in any way. They seem to view finding the right label to describe themselves as the goal of their spiritual quest. Once they acquire the label "Wiccan," they breathe a sigh of relief and are done. They maintain the same values and beliefs as they had before, just under a new name."

- Deborah Lipp

The Study of Witchcraft

Cthulhu Pendant

2011-03-22T20:11:00.000-05:00

A lovely gift from the lovely Co-Witch Aithne!

Lil Cthulhu Goes Explorin'

2011-03-21T23:21:00.000-05:00

I am hopelessly devoted to my dear Lil Cthulhu.

But while the rest of my Idols generally like to have a place of Their own....Cthulhu likes to explore. He's a big fan of shenanigans.

"Trekking through the dangerous forest, in search of treasure and souls. Definitely souls."

"Not only will he get inside your skull, but he'll clean it and take up residence..."

"Enjoying a relaxing trip to the sauna after a tough day eating souls"

"Behind every psychotic mask murderer...there's a Lil Cthulhu."

"How Lil Cthulu unwinds after a tough week"

"Lil Cthulhu supports Equality. Do you? If you don't, He'll eat your face off!"

Spring

2011-03-20T15:30:00.000-05:00

A happy and joyous Spring Equinox to you all.

Last night Co-Witch Aithne and I gathered at my house to celebrate the Super Moon and the Equinox. We don't plan enough opportunities to Circle together, so we spared no details in making our evening as special as possible.

In the late hours we crept out to do some Moon-Bathing and to pour our offerings beneath the huge pear tree in my backyard. Then we polished off some wine, ginger shortbread cookies, chocolate, and Aithne's sinful Profiteroles she had made for the evening.

We're already planning for Beltane.

There are no Unicorns in my Cup

2011-03-12T17:53:00.001-06:00

Interacting with folks, you sometimes get a nice laundry list of the things they are good at. And that can be a good thing. I'm of the mind that pride in one's skills and accomplishments is made of win. But eventually you run into people whose cosmic resumes are jam-packed with mystical skills.

"I'm an empath"
"I'm a clairaudient, clairsentient medium who talks to angels"
"I'm a necromancer and a 4th degree Druid"
"I'm a witch, shaman, psi-vamp, medium, tarot-reader, conjure woman, mom, and I see aliens"
"I sometimes get lucky with my palm readings and I'm part unicorn"

Makes you wonder how these people find time to see a movie or hang out with friends.

I don't doubt there are people with various degrees and combinations of those above skills, give or take. They aren't likely to actually broadcast that information too loudly, because regardless of how popular mysticism is and how much of an ego-wank you can get from the attention...anyone worth their blessed salt will tell you that Witchcraft is a lot of fucking work.

And there really isn't any room (or time) for braggarts. Being able to say "I'm not so great with astrology" is far more impressive than "I can predict all the happenings of the Universe because of the astrology my Atlantean Spirit Guides taught me which is more authentic than your silly Western system."

In my own process as a Seeker, I've looked long and hard at what I would bring to the table of an existing coven.

My divination skills are lousy, if only because I doubt myself. I've given readings that have blown my mind in terms of what I've picked up on, but I squick at the thought of people making decisions based on something one of my readings told them.

My mad scientist fantasies have led to some fun experiments with incense making. I have a nicely developed nose as far as scent and intention, and it's a hobby I look forward to exploring more in depth.

I like to cook and entertain.

I have an eye for window-dressing and a talent for the theatrical.

You'll never see me calling myself Lord Veles Esq. (Veles Incorporated sounds cooler!) and I will NEVER go on tv wearing guyliner and a cape. I won't claim to talk to angels or the dead anything else.

I will never set up my own psychic hot-line or cheapen the Craft.

And that, I think, makes all the difference.

The Horn...which sounds so forlorn

2011-03-10T13:30:00.001-06:00

Last night I dreamt I was in some dark, cavernous place, wearing my snake dress.

At least I think it was a cavernous place. In the dream, I was blindfolded, but my blindfold allowed me to see through a filter in the shape of a bull's skull, which burned and pulsated in the darkness.

There was a Man in the cave with me, who let out the most gut-wrenching screams I've ever heard. Something inhuman and primal. I reached out for Him, but He was faster than I.

I finally found Him, sitting, waiting, laughing. I reached out for Him.

He took off my blindfold.

And the award goes to...

2011-03-08T00:17:00.000-06:00

I just realized that as a Modern Pagan-Revivalist Witch, I can utter the phrase...

"And I want to thank all of the Little People who helped me get to where I am today"

...without being facetious or otherwise a pompous ass.

Gods, but I love this religion!

Crack(ed)

2011-03-04T18:58:00.000-06:00

As previously mentioned, I spent the past weekend visiting some very dear and beloved friends in Houston.

Sunday morning began, as Sunday mornings often do, with a hangover. So being the self-respecting gay men that we are, Evn and I sat on the couch with hangovers watching re-runs of RuPaul's Drag Race. For about a million hours.

Eventually we motivated off the couch and decided to be productive and went ~~cruising for hot mens~~ out to run some errands.

As we were getting dressed, in complimentary outfits, we decided to wear some tasteful jewellry and visit a local occult shop known for it's ~~douchefuckery~~ questionable customer service practices.

As Evn and I flourished into the shop, we were greeted by a very wonky vibe and the sight of a woman we like to call Lady CrushedVelvet. In truth, we weren't greeted at all, because both employees were too busy demonstrating the Magic Power Of Witchcraft for a group of teenagers.

As Evn and I were Compatrioting over some Idols, we overheard bits of a conversation between Lady CrushedVelvet and a man we will call Grandpa HotPants.

Grandpa HotPants was discussing a magical project he was working on, and he wanted advice on what herbs and incense would be most effective.

Without smearing her eyeliner, Lady CrushedVelvet replied:

"You'll want Frankincense and Myrrh for that."

Which inspired Grandpa HotPants to respond:

"I can't use that shit, it's too Christian."

At which point Evn, myself, and every Witch in a 50 mile radius had a Scooby Moment. The look on Evn's face suggested he might, at any moment, punch a baby.

We took a nice, cleansing breath, and mosied over to the Witchcraft section, where I was debating picking up a copy of Patricia Crowther's Covensense from this shop. We noticed that Lady CrushedVelvet and Grandpa HotPants were still debating over the incense issue, as she was looking very put-upon.

I think she finally sold him on some copal resin, and was measuring out an ounce of it for him. I caught him give her a conspiriatorial wink and a nudge, and then he loudly proclaimed:

"There's rocks in this incense!!!"

As in crack.

Evn and I promptly dropped our merchandise and walked out of the store.

Everybody Want A Piece Of Mary

2011-03-03T01:03:00.000-06:00

Tasked by Herself with the job of setting up a shrine for my new Virgin of Guadalupe, right now if you please because She has places to go and things to do, I pulled out an old black lace scarf with a rose pattern that had belonged to a departed relative and set Her a place on the top of a bookshelf.

A novena candle, a vial of Holy Water, a framed print of Diana, and some incense joined the collection, and soon Everyone was very happy and things were vibrating nicely.

And then my mom happened to notice the brown skinned Virgin.

I had joked back in Houston that my parents would at some point see the brown Virgin and give me the same meaningful look I got when I used to come home from my grandmothers house wearing her nail-polish.

My parents are baby-boomers who managed to miss out on the progressive thinking that came with the cultural and sexual revolution. Sometimes, they say things that baffle me.

Even though both of them said farewell to organized Catholicism a long time ago, and my mother will happily inform you that God must be a Woman and that nature is Her Cathedral, I feared that they would see a brown skinned Virgin Mary and...well...flip the fuck out.

So there's my mom, coffee in one hand and cigarette in the other, inspecting the brown Virgin the same way she would a deer that needs slaughtering.

"Isn't this the Mexican Virgin? Why do you have this?"

At this point, I flailed a bit. Do I launch into a complex discussion of religious syncretism? Defend her glorious skin in a fit of white apologia? Cry?

I did the next best thing and offered up a winning smile and launched into what I call "If I use enough big words you'l leave me alone" mode.

"That's Our Lady of Guadalupe. She appeared that way to a peasant who believed She was the Virgin Mary. The Church used Her to try to convert the Aztecs, but before She was identified with Mary, She was a Goddess called..."

"Oh, she's brown because the earth is brown."

And she walked out of the room.

Pagan Leadership Panel (1/7)

2011-03-01T13:06:00.000-06:00

Watch!

Broomstick Travels

2011-02-28T20:37:00.001-06:00

Co-Witch Aithne and I spent the weekend in Houston visiting our beloved friends Evn, Trothwy, Chase, and Sphinx. It has been a few month since we've seen them, and it was good to be back in the great city that more and more seems like home to us.

There are quite a few stories to tell, some of them I'll be sharing in the coming days.

The trip began, as all good trips do, with a proper libation to the Gods of the Road:

Our first visit was to the Stanley Drug Company, a really awesome Hoodoo shop with fantastic products and great customer service.

I've been in the market for a statue of Tonatzin, aka Our Lady of Guadalupe, and as luck would have it She was waiting for me there.

Next we spent a bit of time at British Isles, one of our favorite shops, where we loaded up on tea and sweeties. Aithne and I also bought silver sugar tongs to use for incense charcoal.

And I bought this very cute little Brigid's Cross.

Then we three met with Trothwy, Chase, and Sphinx at the Richmond Arms, a local English Pub. Many libations were shared, and some horrifying and inappropriate stories told. The food was amazing, and as we were seated near the bathrooms, Evn and I received our fair share of cruising. All in all, a fab day

The next day we were off to a local occult shop which provided tales so horrifying they warrant their own entry. Stay tuned, same Witch Time, same Witch Channel.

So giving the finger to the occult shop, we stopped by Fiesta for groceries. And novena candles. And Florida and Kananga Water.

Being a Witch in Texas is awesomesauce!

My Compatriot Evn gifted me with this deck which, in spite of it's snark factor, is actually kinda useful. I look forward to reading with it.

Also picked up a copy of Persuasion of the Witch's Craft, which I've been wanting to read. If nothing else, the pictures are groovy.

When Aithne and I arrived home, we stopped off at one of our favorite antique shops, mere minutes from my house where we have had such luck in the past finding groovy ritual tools. She made out like a bandit, and though I wasn't looking for anything in particular, a very cute cauldron grabbed my attention and wouldn't let go.

When the Goddess hands you Cauldrons....

He-Man Witch Balls

2011-02-23T00:19:00.000-06:00

"My dermatologist put me on steroids and it's done wonders for my magic." - Veles

The Well-Frocked Witch

2011-02-21T16:39:00.000-06:00

I am in desperate need of owning this!!!!!!

Your mother rides a vacuum cleaner!

2011-02-21T01:11:00.000-06:00

"The plural of Wizard is Wizards, the plural of Witch is Argument." - Terry Pratchett

What Not To Do

2011-02-18T17:37:00.004-06:00

If you are engaging in an online pissing contest accusing someone of being an Oathbreaker and you reference an online version of what purports to be a secret Book of Shadows as a tool to legitimize your accusations...I can only offer you one piece of advice.

Don't. Ever. Fucking. Do. That.

The irony that is lost on these persons is that posting such a document online would make one either:

A) A Liar

B) An Oathbreaker

This argument technique only makes you look like a dumbass, and the rest of us are laughing at you. I promise.

Especially if you believe you are an Otherkin. You aren't. Seek help.

*Thanks to my Brother Witch and Compatriot Evn for his comments regarding Liars/Oathbreakers when we discussed this

Post-Moon Musings

2011-02-18T13:14:00.000-06:00

"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in your joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."

- from The Velveteen Rabbit by Margery Williams and William Nicholson

Gay Witchcraft In Three Easy Steps

2011-02-17T18:08:00.000-06:00

Inanna

Ereshkigal

The Divine Youth

Any Questions?

Obviously this is a light-hearted funsie inspired by a thread on Facebook.

Full Moon Musings

2011-02-16T21:51:00.001-06:00

"Witches today waste much time on unnecessary matters. You think these things important, but they are trivialities. Look to Witchdom for your answers. Do not mix up East with West and end nowhere. Toledo held many mysteries that you seek. But do not stuff your heads with book-learning. Get down to practice. It is easier to sit reading a book than it is to practise; but reading books nourishes only the thinking mind. It is the Inner Mind that needs to feel its own strength. Dip into the Pool of Memory and find treasure."

"When the full moon is out, you can come close to Witchdom. The rays of the moon have power, when they bathe the earth with its light. It is the window, in more ways than one. You too can see through the window."

- John Brakespeare

Recorded in The Rebirth of Witchcraft by Doreen Valiente

Tonight my altar is red; red with fire, red wine in my wine-cup, and bread sprinkled with wine. I will make offerings to the Old Lass and the WitchFather using this Witch's Blessing and I will drink in Their name.

And then, I will look through the window.

Valentines Day

2011-02-14T17:47:00.000-06:00

I am not especially fond of Valentines Day, which is what you are supposed to say if you are single on February 14th.

Let's say I'm not crazy about the capitalist-driven, Hallmark Card, frilly pink idea of romance that get's shoved down our throats every year. All things aside, I'm a fairly regular dude. I like beer, red-meat, and porn. Not that I dislike flowers, candy, jewellry, expensive dinners, or cuddly bears with hearts on their bellies, but as a guy who likes guys, I don't need romance ploys in order to hop into the sack. And I'm generally not attracted to guys who do.

Although, if someone actually gave those things to me, I'd cry and be touched forever, because I'm secretly a big ole' sentimental softy. Don't tell anyone. It's bad for my reputation.

This year, rather than be a cynical bastard about it all, I've decided to flow with the spirit of the ocassion and do some serious devotion to that Goddess of Love, Joy, and Pleasure.

I've been working on her offerings for a few days now. Lots of incense, lots of oils, lots of candles. I say this with all the reverence in the Universe: my temple space smells and looks like a Madame's Parlor.

After the snowmageddon of just a few weeks ago, we've seen a change in the weather, and people are taking off their winter clothes and showing some skin. It was nice to be able to pop down to the store for wine and candles wearing shorts and flip-flops

Maybe it was just my devastating cuteness or the lingering scent of all the oils and potions that had coated my skin, but I was definitely getting some attention. From men and women. It was nice!

Whether your choose to particpate in the Hallmark Holiday, or if your evening will involve gorgeous men and whips ala Lupercalia, I hope the Mistress of Beauty looks upon you with favor as we head toward Spring.

Stereotyping Yourself

2011-02-13T03:34:00.000-06:00

Lord, but I have been in a Mood!

A Mood beyond my usual Snarky Bitch Powers. A Mood that I generally like to call Vengeance Walks The Earth.

I don't know what brought it on. It could be the general lack of sunshine. Or the fact that my diet has involved a lot less meat lately. Whatever the cause, the theme music for the Wicked Witch of the West was running through my head and my thoughts were leaning towards waxen images and hatpins.

In an attempt to calm the rising storm I put on some music, made some tea, lit a stick of incense, and sat down to clean my altar.

I was well into my third cup of chai, the scent of which mingled nicely with the Nag Champa, and Loreena McKennit's The Mystic's Dream started playing. And there's me, sitting at my altar, giving Aphrodite a bath.

And I laughed, because in that moment I was a Pagan Stereotype.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go read The Mists of Avalon again.

A Story

2011-02-12T00:21:00.000-06:00

I was very heavily involved in the art department all through school. In fact, when I was in high school, an advanced art class was added to the curriculum. I was it's only student, as it had been created solely for my needs. I also had my own personal Debate class, which mostly involved gossiping with my favorite teacher.

My art teacher, as all good art teachers are, was a holdover from the hippie era. She wore gypsy skirts, had wild unkempt hair, and lots of beads and rings. She'd gone to Woodstock and lived. She'd marched in all sorts of civil rights marches.

She was really cool, and she liked me.

Every class day began with breathing exercises. When it was time to paint or work on our art, she'd turn out the lights and light candles. We'd breathe in unison. She was a big fan of Loreena McKennit, Enya, and Clannad and we'd listen to them while we painted. She praised my painting of Kali for it's representation of the Divine Feminine and it was included in a showcase of student art.

Did I mention this teacher was also a born-again, Fundamentalist Christian? Because she was. But her absolute cool-factor and alternate way of looking at things always made her seem more of a friend to the Hidden Children than not.

Until the day came when she reached into my shirt, pulled the necklace out, and saw that I was wearing a pentagram and mother-of-pearl crescent. She denounced me as an Agent of Satan and told me I should be ashamed of myself.

Her classes after that were less hippie and much more 700 club. The Celtic music was replaced by soft Christian rock and hymns.

When studying Buddhism in the context of Buddhist art, she offered the following:

"These monks will sit in the dark, in rooms lit only by candles, and pray. Now I ask you? Who prays in the dark? Only Satanists pray by candle-light."

I eventually walked out of her class and never returned.

Experience Trumps Assumption

2011-02-11T17:10:00.000-06:00

I haven't posted anything overly thoughtful or provocative in a while. I've sat with myself and thought "Obviously you have more to say. Why aren't you saying it? Why don't you grow a pair and tear into the forces of stupidity and entitlement that have turned Pagan Craft into a punchline?"

Because I've been too busy practicing Witchcraft, courting the Mysteries as best as I can navigating with only my own study and intuition as my guide. I've had a lot of portentous dreams over the last few years, bolts from the blue, and shivvers up my spine from coming into the presence of Them. I'm a Seeker, I've made some contacts, and I'm tending the garden that is my Craft.

The Pagan Movement has always been rife with conflict, disagreement about praxis, and schism. Shit happens, people suck, and there's always going to be a Martin Luther in the group.

Not my battle, and I don't have to try to fix anything or point out where people are wrong. Even though so many of them are.

I'll still be getting my hands dirty and holding the Craft as I understand it to be. Other people can hang out in the front yard, escape to the manicured public park for the afternoon, or choose to just stay inside and watch television.

As it should be.

Snow Day

2011-02-04T15:46:00.000-06:00

My cauldron froze over

Snow Crotch

Lá Fhéile Bríde

2011-02-02T13:04:00.000-06:00

Happy Candlemas!

Candlemas Eve

2011-02-01T15:03:00.000-06:00

While other Pagans are directing their attention to Bride, my thoughts are with that wooly, horned serpent who is my namesake. His more positive attributes would later be canonized by the Catholic Church as St. Blaise and his darker side contributed to the image of The Devil.

Some of his attributes were also married to St. Nicholas, who in Slavic tradition flies through the air with another horned, tricksy fella named Krampus, who punishes wickedness with his switches.

The feast day of St. Blaise is February 3rd, when candles blessed on Candlemas would be crossed and held to the throat in the cornu to ward off sickness for the coming year.

In all the traditions for this spoke of the wheel, we find an emphasis on fire, healing, and protective magic against sickness. Fitting, since Texas is currently being ravaged by a winter storm and I've been fighting off the usual nasties that winter brings.

So while you're going about your holiday plans, do consider pouring some whiskey for Old Horny, and have a nip or two yourself!

Scrying

2011-01-23T20:18:00.000-06:00

One of the keywords someone used to find my blog was:

"Witches never get hurt."

Clearly a falsehood.

Take The Apple

2011-01-23T14:30:00.000-06:00

Friday night I dreamt of snakes. As in, I was wearing them like a skirt, slithering over the lower half of my body, up my arms and around my neck. It was fuckin' cool and also kinda creepy.

I attributed this dream to my allergy medicine, which I firmly believe moonlights as Flying Ointment.

This morning Evn called to tell me about his new pet snake. He met this snake on Friday. The snake's name is Inanna Dentata. I'll be meeting this snake in February.

In my email this morning, there was a note from Trothwy quoting a passage on The Witch of Forest Grove's blog which mentioned my namesake and his connection to snakes.

I'm not usually one to chase after omens, but this is too weird to ignore.

Full Moon Musings

2011-01-21T20:29:00.000-06:00

The trifecta of December's Winter Solstice, Full Moon, and Lunar Eclipse made for a potent night. There I was in my back-yard, not dressed for the bone-chilling cold, watching La Luna turn black and glow with that dark hellish red, weaving a spell on a knotted cord. The Raw Potency Contained that I always feel when the Horned One comes was near, and the perfume of the Maiden To Be crept through the dead leaves and bitter soil.

The Hag and the Lord of Death reminding me of Their softness, and the Spring-Tide to come. It was glorious. And my simple wish will blossom and flower, in it's time.

But as I sat last night on the cold-ground, looking up at the lunar orb, one month past that magical night, I had a sense of what our ancestors must once have felt, that so many of us still feel. The dreaded fear that Spring would never come, that winter's food supply would run out, that there wasn't enough heat to make it until March, that Death would come before we could begin again.

I remembered why, among the many things a Witch does, we have to turn the Wheel.

Candlemas is coming. Are you ready?

I swear this just happened...

2011-01-20T22:16:00.002-06:00

I've hesitated sharing this story in the interest of diplomacy, but I get the church giggles everytime I think about it. A few months ago, Co-Witch Aithne and I received some e-mails from a young lady searching for local Pagans and a teacher.

The young lady (hereafter known as Pringles) also claims to be a Seventh Generation Hereditary Witch, which makes one wonder why she would *need* a teacher in the first place, but whatevs. I guess even after seven generations, the Spooky FamTrad Posse can't come up with any kind of intra-family witchy info.

They don't even have a family book whose amazeballs-ness sends the rest of us into a fit of envy.

The exchange went something like this:

Pringles: "Oh, I could tell you about our beliefs, but they're so obscure you've probably never heard of them."

Co-Witch Aithne: "No shit. You made them up last week."

Testimonial

2011-01-16T17:38:00.000-06:00

"This is my friend Veles, he's the Chuck Norris of Witchcraft...because the Devil kisses his ass."

- My Dear Compatriot and Brother Witch Evn

Pagan Meme Thingie

2011-01-08T22:47:00.001-06:00

Tales of Witchery and rants about the state of Witchcraft today will return soon enough. In the meanwhile, a survey.

I should note that I find a lot of the questions on this survey to be absolutely idiotic, and the new-agey-kumbaya-majikqual language really, really grates on my last nerve, so...expect bitchy responses.

B A S I C S

Do you have a magical/Pagan name?    I didn't intend for "Veles" to be a magical name, I just needed a pen-name to keep my legal name from being too closely identified with this blog, witchcraft, etc. Though if one were searching...I'm not that hard to find. Eventually "Veles" stuck, and now I do identify more as Veles than I do my very much disliked legal first name.

What does it mean? Do your own homework, lazy!

How did you find Paganism?    I wasn't looking for Paganism. I was looking for Witchcraft, and I found it via a book called The Anatomy of Witchcraft by Peter Haining. Paganism was the gift-with-purchase.

How long have you been practicing?   Sixteen years

Solitary or group practitioner?   Solitary for now

What is your path?     I'm a really uptight self-taught Witch whose practice looks more like Huson and less like Starhawk.

Are you out of the broom closet?     Some people know, some people don't.

D E I T Y
Who is your patron God?     The Ole Boy Himself

Who is your patron Goddess?    Nocticula Hekate

What Gods do you worship?     A great many of them.

Do you fear darkly aspected Gods/Goddess, or rather respect them?    As Hot Topic as it sounds, most of the Gods who favor me are "darkly aspected", primal, cthonic powers.

Do you worship the Christian God?   I do not. I don't believe he exists, and I really want nothing to do with him.

Do you ever worship animals?    When I eat them.

Or plants?    No.

N A T U R E

Do you regularly commune with nature?    The word "commune" makes me skeeve, but yes.

Ever walked barefoot in the woods?   I have.

Taken a camping trip just to talk to nature?   I don't camp.

Describe the moment you felt closest to Mother Earth?   Again, the twee-new-agey language here really censes me! (See what I did there?)

Do you have a familiar?   No. But I do have *something* that hangs around, and others have reported being aware of it as well. In fact, a Christmas dinner party once evolved into a session of 3 Witches and some regular folk giving it attention and actually seeing it. It even thumped Co-Witch Aithne's sisters earring. That was a fun night.

Have you ever called upon the powers of an animal in ritual?   No

Or a plant?   I do compel plants when I'm working with them

Do you hug trees?    No, but I like to touch them

Give them gifts?   Water, wine, blood, babies.  The usual stuff.

What is your favourite flower to work with?   I prefer thorns!

What is your favourite tree to work with?   Willow/Oak

W H E E L . O F . T H E . Y E A R

What is your favourite holiday?    Walpurgisnacht, though I do really have this thing for Candlemas

What is your least favourite holiday?    I dislike seeing the Autumn Equinox called "Mabon." In fact, it makes me irate. I also dislike Candlemas being called "Imbolc". But I'm generally quite fond of holidays.

Have you ever held a ritual on a holiday?    More than likely

Ever taken a day off work to celebrate a Pagan holiday?    No

Do you celebrate Yule on the 21 rather than the 25?    Why limit yourself to just one day?

Have you ever felt the veil thin?    Oh yes.  Heavy shit, that.

Ever danced the Maypole?   If you mean the stick in the ground with the ribbons? No. The real thing? *grin*

Know what the Maypole symbolizes?    "Phallic symbol! Phallic symbol!"

How do you usually celebrate the Pagan holidays?   At this point, the thought of doing a scripted solitary sabbat is probably the most uninteresting I can think of. I find that fire and an offering of wine and incense suffices.

D I V I N A T I O N

Do you use Tarot?   Yes

Do you use runes?   Not for divination

Do you use a pendulum?    I did early on

Do you use dowsing rods?   I don't, but my mother did teach me how to dowse for water when I was younger.

Do you use astrology?   No

Any other form of divination?    Bibliomancy

S P E L L S

What was the first spell you did?   Oh, that's a diffcult one.

What was the latest?    It involved a skull, some hair, and a wax coffin...

Ever done a love spell?   Most certainly. Bad idea, those. Lust Spells are far less dangerous and likely to produce undesired effects.

A job spell?   No

A healing spell?     Most definitely.

What was the most powerful spell you’ve ever performed?    That's difficult to answer. How do you measure "powerful" in this context? Is it the most powerful because it worked the fastest? Because it moved the biggest obstacle? That it was the most creative in it's application?

What deities do you usually call on?   I always invoke The Master

C R Y P T O Z O O L O G Y

Do you believe in Vampires?   No. I know there are people who practice a kind of psi-vampirism or who drink blood and call themselves vampires, so obviously they exist. As my Compatriot Evn once said: I'm willing to belive there are people who are vampires as long as I don't have to sit near them on the bus.

Werewolves?   No

Shapeshifters?   No

Elves?   No

Faeries?   No

Dragons?   No

Nymphs?   No

Sprites?   No

Mermaids? No

Satyrs?   If anyone knows any...I'm technically single.

Ever “seen” any of the above?   Sorry, but I don't use drugs.

Ever talked to any of the above?   See Above

Ever used any of the above in magic? See Above.

Do you have one of them as a personal guardian?   See Above.

R A N D O M

Do you see a rabbit, a man or a woman in the moon?   The moon has asked me to tell you not to ask dumb questions like this again.

Own a cat?   I'm allergic, but I have a lovely statue of Bast.

When you meditate, what does your happy place look like? Again with this twee-new-agey crystalfuckery. Knock it off.

Do you work with Chakras?    No

Do you believe in past lives?   I get rebirth in a poetic sense, but I'm not too concerned with lives other than this one.

If so, describe a few briefly:   see above

Do you believe in soul mates?   I do, but I don't think there is just one.

Do you have a spirit guide? More Native American cultural appropriation by bored white people. Just fucking stop it already, will you?

Is it always love and light?   It is never love and light.

Strange things one inherits...

2011-01-04T18:50:00.000-06:00

An early-edition paperback, to go alongside my more recent edition.

I love these cheesey 60's occult books.

Morals And Dogma of the Ancient and Accepted Rite of Freemasonry, From 1945.

Hekate is quite pleased with this.

Yeah.

Makes you wonder what your estranged relatives were up to.

Happy Solstice

2010-12-21T13:02:00.000-06:00

Wishing you all a Wonderful Midwinter and Happy Yuletide!

What I Do Best

2010-12-19T18:20:00.000-06:00

Three glorious mountains of them to celebrate the Yuletide. I bet they'll all be gone before Christmas.